Sunday, October 11, 2009

Dispatches From The Front... Stuff Left Out

This section is the catch-all for important stuff I meant to get into previous episodes of “Twisted Roads,” but which failed to make it into print for one reason or another. The most common reasons for stuff being deleted is that I was tired, or drunk, or aggravated, or pressured by a cash-job deadline, or that I was convinced that whatever it was I had written was shit. (In this last case, I occasionally change my mind, or just rewrite it.)

Dispatch #471
What Kind Of Person Wears A “Twisted Roads” Tee Shirt...


The classic “Twisted Roads “ tee shirt is not only drawing attention as the best “Get Laid Anywhere” instrument of true romance, but it is turning up as the garment of choice for moto-adventurers, moto-swashbucklers, and moto-maniacs the world over.

World class BMW GS Adventure riders like Gary Christman wear “Twisted Roads” tee shirts. Joined by a dedicated team of Mac Pac riders, Gary Christman led the charge to the Rupert River, in remotest Canada, where this mighty cataclysm is about to be forever tamed to create hydro-electric power. Christman was not daunted by a 300-mile (plus) gravel road (the longest in north America without services), starting in the wildest stretches of Quebec. Christman was good enough to send me these two pictures, as proof, that “Twisted Roads” lead to the coolest places.
Above -- Gary Christman and his BMW GS Adventure on the shores of Janes Bay, Canada (Photo by Gary Christman -- Click To Enlarge)



Above -- Gary Christman carried the "Twisted Roads" message to Oatmeal Rapids on the Rupert River. (Photo supplied by Gary Christman -- Click to enlarge)

Above (From Left) -- On James Bay, Mac Pac riders Ken Bruce, Doug Raymond, Rich Cavaliere, Gary Christman (the only one who bothered to get a Twisted Roads shirt), and Corey Lyba all pose around the banner that is respected and feared worlwide. (Photo supplied by Gary Christman -- Click to enlarge)


Professional “big block” wrenches like Laura Hirth wear “Twisted Roads” tee shirts. She’s as much at home on a BMW motorcycle (with or without a sidecar) as she is in a pit under a diesel truck engine. This is a good thing considering she’s a mechanic for a world-wide shipping company. When not pulling apart transmissions or cylinder heads in the shop, Hirth can found co-organizing and co-leading antique bike rides throughout southeastern Pennsylvania, sometimes with an Australian shepherd named “Larry Bowa” in the side car. She epitomizes the Renaissance women in a world where character is defined by capability, and vision knows no boundaries.
Above -- Pulled over on the side a very Twisted Road, Laura Hirth makes it clear where she goes for the inside straight when it comes to moto-reading. (Photo by Todd Trombore -- Click to enlarge)

Tena and Bugser Abbey are the first readers to wear “Twisted Roads” tee shirts in the great American northwest. They recently made the pilgrimage from the state of Washington to Pennsylvania, to meet Leslie and I. Both are members of Motorcycle Views, where as a cruiser rider, Bugser has been needling me since 2005. Writer and artist, Tena Abbey recently sent me a pouch full of knitted baby harp seals, that I can club with a pencil when the need for release presents itself. I love meeting long-time readers of my blog... On this past visit (which was entirely too short), the Abbey’s presented me with a cup from the Washington Bait Company with the timeless words “Bite Me” emblazoned on both sides.

Tena and Bugser Abbey (Photo By Leslie Marsh -- Click to enlarge)

Dispatch #754
The Great Twisted Roads Tee Shirt Contest...

The Great Twisted Roads Tee Shirt photo Contest has started! Simply purchase the best "Get Laid Anywhere Tee Shirt" on the right, and take a picture of yourself, or the hottest honey you can find, in an exotic background -- wearing this shirt-- and send it to JPRiepe@aol.com, marked Twisted Roads Tee Contest Entry. The grand prize is a $100 gift certificate from the Motorcycle Shop of your choice. All entries must be submitted by December 31, 2009. Submission acknowleges that the sender is the owner of the photograph and has given explicit permission for the picture to be used on this blog. Once the prize has been awarded, all further dealings are between the winner and the bike shop of their choice. The judges decision is final

Dispatch #520
Additional Perspectives of My Labor Day Ride...


I never intended the account of my Labor Day ride to run so long. But even as I was struggling to get it completed, there were a few pictures that got dropped out of the text. I really did want to include these, so better late than never.

Photo #1 -- Ihor Sypko (Self portrait of an Adirondack man -- Click to enlarge)
Ihor (pronounced EE-hore) Sypko and I were boys at school together. I moved up to the Adirondacks in 1984, and Ihor said he’d come too. But he waited until I had moved back down before staking out a spread. This is Mr. Sypko on the porch of the cabin he is building.


Photo #2 -- Ihor’s Cabin (Photo by Ihor Sypko -- Click to enlarge)
The cabin was originally constructed as an outbuilding on the property of New York State’s four-term Governor Herbert Henry Lehman (1933 - 1942), and built around 1910.


Photo #3 -- Ihor’s Cabin Again With Ihor and Local Mountain Woman In Picture (Photo by Ansel Adams Murphy -- Click To enlarge)
Ihor purchased the cabin, had it panelized (disassembled), and moved it to Wilmington, NY. The interior is being rebuilt by hand, utilizing many of the windows, nails, hardware and other fixtures from the period, enhanced with radiant heat in the floors and local river stones used in place of tiles in the bathroom floors.


Photo #4 -- One Last Ferry Shot (Photo By Jack Riepe - Click to enlarge)
There is nothing like a relaxing 40 minute ferry ride across Lake Champlain (12-miles wide in some places), while the sun hangs low over the mountains. These guys were a group of Harley riders tha got on the boat ahead of us. EWe are headed to the dock in Essex, New York.


Photo #5 -- The Sun Going Down over Champlain (Photo By Leslie Marsh/Stiffie)
Two weeks after I got back from cruising around in the Adirondacks and Vermont, Leslie (my hot squeeze) retraced some of my steps while attending an artist’s retreat. (Artist’s retreat = women painting and creating stuff, while drinking hard liquor from the bottle, dancing in the moonlight, and discussing men like they were a cross between athlete’s foot or venereal disease. (Click to enlarge)


Photo #6 -- Sailboats Ride At Anchor Like Huge Ducks (Photo By Leslie Marsh/Stiffie)
This is the bay in Vermont from which the Shelburne ferry sails. The woman on the dock s an “artist” recovering from one hell of a night, apparently. The pilothouse of a ferry can be seen at the 3 O’clock position in the photo. (Click to enlarge)



©Copyright Jack Riepe 2009
AKA The Lindbergh Baby (Mac Pac)
AKA Vindak8r (Motorcycle Views)
AKA The Chamberlain -- PS (With A Shrug)

30 comments:

mtlcowgirl said...

Dear Jack,

Kudos to Ken, Doug, Rich, Gary and and Corey for making it all the way up to James Bay. Although for the life of me I have no idea why anyone would want to. Hell, even I never went there, and I lived in Quebec all my life.

No. We Quebecers prefer to make it down to Vermont and Northern New York State to make the lives of good folks such as yourself a living hell.

Yours truly even ventured down to New Jersey where she has now made it here lifelong duty to make her husband's life a living hell as well.

BTW, is that me on the end of the peer? If it is: 1) The recuperation process was obviously worth it as per Stiffie's photography. 2) Damn those blackouts!

Your twisted sister,

Karen

Conchscooter said...

Well that was a puzzler. You weren't rude to anyone.
Yours in admiration
Iron Butt Badger.

Jack Riepe said...

Dear MTLCowgirl (Karen):

I threw these pictures in because I can't really get enough of them, and because I wish I was there as long as there is no snow on the ground. The lady on the end of the dock, next to the beer bottle, is an artist from Portugal, who is also a writer by trade. I thunk the bottle may be a trademark of the profession.

Thank you for reading my tripe, and for commenting.

Fondest regards,
Jack • reep • Toad
Twisted Roads

Jack Riepe said...

Dear Conch:

I am never rude to anyone... Just painfully truthful. Especially when it comes to pink crocs and wearing women's underwear.

Fondest regards,
Jack • reep • Toad

kathy said...

Lake Champlain is beautiful - it's just too cold in the winter for this Florida girl. Your last pic at the Shelburne ferry dock brought back some fond memories - of summer. Loved the piece about Laura cause I have an Aussie too. Too bad I don't have a sidecar - I think he'd love it even in his geriatric old age of 17.

sgsidekick said...

Hahahaha. Thanks for calling me an "artist", Jack. Appreciate the effort. *grin* It was a real pleasure meeting you and Leslie (Stiffie) We really enjoyed terrorizing the waitresses at that restaurant. We also enjoyed the jaunt through town and back getting TO the restaurant! We have never had so much fun meeting someone face-to-face for the first time like we did with you two. And to score Twisted Roads tee shirts??? Totally worth it!

BTW, the baby harp seals are crocheted, not knitted. While I am trying to teach myself how to knit, knitting needles are much better as swords. Bugser and I practice daily up and down the hall, much to the annoyance of the dogs.

Jack Riepe said...

Dear Kathy:

You'd be surprised at what becomes beautiful under different circumstances. Some pf the most outrageously beautiful nights that I remember were at zeo degrees, with two feet of smow on the ground, in brilliant moonlight, with owls hunting in the woods.

I prefer the climate of southeastern Pa, now, because of the longer riding season. Laura Firth is an absolute pisser, and has taught the dog to fetch tools.

Thank you for reading my blog, and for commenting.

Fondest regards,
Jack • reep • Toad

Jack Riepe said...

Dear Sgsidekick (Tena):

I was an absolute pleasure meeting you and Bugser -- especially after all these years. I look forward to the time when we can all ride together -- with Steve Assan -- when I hit the west coast (next year).

Still, we had a good time in Somerset this summer. We'll make it an annual event. Thank you for reading my blog, and for always commenting.

Fondest regards,
Jack • reep • Toad

sgsidekick said...

You're coming out next year? Is the West Coast ready for you? That will be fun, and waaaaaay beyond interest!!!! Looking forward to that! So is Bugser. I bet Steve is quaking in his boots.

Jack Riepe said...

Dear Sgsidekick (Tena):

These things are always contingent on the time I can get off from work and the kind of shape I expect to be in, with regard to my arthritis. But I remain hopeful on all accounts.

Fondest regards,
Jack • reep • Toad

Electra Glide In Blue said...

Jack,
Re:Dispatch #754

I made a comment awhile back about being attacked by trollops when wearing your shirt. As you pointed out Jack, I was wearing the shirt “inside-out”. I have corrected this problem only to be faced with another…..

Now I can’t make it out of the garage wearing your shirt, for my wife throws me to the garage floor and makes mad passionate love to me. Luckily, so-far the shirt has made it through this unschaved. For some this may not be a problem, but I am so worn out after this, about the only thing I can do is smoke a politically correct cigar.

I hope to have this situation under control soon, so I can get some pic’s taken and enter your contest.

cpa3485 said...

I have October 15th on the brain. It's the deadline for tax returns that are on extension. We still have people showing up.
Was just wondering. Because it is obvious that you make obscene profits on the sale of your famous T-shirt, as evidenced by the wide distribution of shirts across the world, do you report that on your income tax returns?
Hmmm?
Have you considered Farkle as a tax deductible expense?
I smell "Tax Shelter"!!!

sgsidekick said...

Ah, Jack. keeping my fingers crossed that you'll be in good shape to hit the West Coast. It's lovely here in the PNW...when it's not raining....

Nikos said...

Jack
re the T shirt:
Do you ship to Britain?
Do you take "paypal"
Do you have size XL which in Britain would be a size 44 chest?
Best wishes, as ever
Nikos

bobskoot said...

Jack "r:

photo #5 is stunning, thanks Leslie. also that picture of the drunk passed out on the pier, with the empty bottle beside her isn't bad either

bob
bobskoot: wet coast scootin

Charlie6 said...

very nice posting Jack, kudos to your main squeeze on that sunset picture....you really don't deserve her, c'mon admit it!

cheers

dom

Gary said...

Jack,
Great pics... :-)......but I do see a little exaggeration going on there.....among them......"World Class"????? :-)
Gary
....and by the way....I'm going to win!

Jack Riepe said...

Dear Electra Glide In Blue:

I have a similar problem. Two former wives would love to screw me again -- if I gave them half the chance.
I look forward to running your pictures.

Thamk you for reading my blog and gracing it with your commentary.

Fondest regards,
Jack • reep • Toad

Jack Riepe said...

Dear CPA3485 (Jimbo):

The fastest way for me to make obscene profits is for you tell your entire scooter-riding club to read my blog and buy my shirts, which for some reason, hasn't happened yet.

Thank you for reading my blog, and for raising its property with your contributions.

Fondest regards,
Jack • reep • Toad

Jack Riepe said...

Dear Nikos:

I never really though about sending a shirt to the UK. How hard or expensive can it be? I bet the postage costs more than the shirt. I'll find out. My hot squeeze has a "Pay Pal" account. I bet that would work.

Thanks for the inquiry. I'll let you know. And thank you for reading my blog so frequently. It makes me feel wanted.

Fondest regards,
Jack • reep • Toad

Jack Riepe said...

Dear Bobskoot:

I thought Stiffie did a great job with the sunset too. And I wanted to include the picture of the bay with the sailboats as it appeared from the other side, over Katherine's shoulder, in the Adirondack Ride Post. The lady on the dock is a woman named Isobel, an artist friennd of Stiffie's.

Thank you for reading my blog, and for writing in.

Fondest regards,
Jack • reep • Toad

Jack Riepe said...

Dear Charlie6 (Dom):

If I had gotten what I deserved, the father of my first girlfriend would have buried me in his yard 38 years ago.

Fondest regards,
Jack • reep • Toad

bobskoot said...

Jack "r":

I went back and scanned over your pictures again and thought to myself that "YES, these are great", they are sharp, well composed, captures the essence/feeling of the moment, then I realized that NONE were yours

bob
bobskoot: wet coast scootin

Jack Riepe said...

Dear Bobskoot:

The apt delegation of responsibility, and the ability to take advantage of a free photograph, is the mark of a true leader.

Fondest regards,
Jack • reep • Toad

Webster World said...

Have not been here for awhile. I like your sight. I'll think about a shirt as I would sooo fear what Electra Glide has to endevor could harm me....NOT!

irondad said...

It's no wonder you are always broke. How much does it cost to have people pose with your t-shirts?

bobskoot said...

Jack "r":

I think I got it wrong I thought that we had to purchase the T-shirt from you. Now after what Irondad posted, I'm thinking that you are paying us for wearing your T-shirt. This changes things. Do you pay for gas too ? do you also supply the bike ?

bob
bobskoot: wet coast scootin

Jack Riepe said...

Dear Webster:

Welcome back. Pour yourself a cup of coffee and take a look around. But I want you to know that if Superman wore one of my shirts, he'd be able to shit kryptonite.

Fondest regards,
Jack • reep • Toad

Jack Riepe said...

Dear IronDad (Dan):

I am going to retire on the sale of those shirts.

Fondest regards,
Jack • reep • Toad

Jack Riepe said...

Dear Bobskoot:

Do you realize the prestige and honor you would have being the first Canadian to wear a shirt of this nature, when you stepped into a biker bar or a topless joint?

If I were you, I'd have my conversion tables out trying to get the size right. These are far more effective than pink crocs.

Fondest regards,
Jack • reep • Toad