Monday, March 15, 2010

The Great Slider Ride 2010 — Second Notice!

The first of my famous DPRs (Dubious Purpose Rides) has been scheduled for Saturday, March 20, 2010. This is the day I have chosen to celebrate my birthday with “The Great Slider Ride,” a 100-mile (plus) pilgrimage to the nearest White Castle (in Toms River, New Jersey). As is my custom, I will purchase one White Castle Cheeseburger for each year of my life (56) and distribute these to the attending masses. The first and only other time I conducted this ride, the attending masses totaled two: Don Eilenberger (of the Jersey Shore Riders) and Tony Luna of Motorcycle Views. Should they show up next Saturday, each will be awarded Grand Marshal status and be presented with a priceless momento.

(Above) Don Eilenberger, BMW Motorcycle Owners of America Ambassador and a member of the Jersey Shore BMW Riders, was 50% of the crowd that turned up at the last Great Slider Ride. He will have Grand Marshal Status if he shows up at this one.

The ride will begin at the Starbuck’s in Exton, on Route 30 (Business), about 300 yards east of the junction with Route 100. It will be “kickstands up” at 10am. (Those requiring coffee and pre-ride camaraderie are advised to get there around 9:30am.) The weather for the day is alleged to be partly sunny with a high of 63º. The route to New Jersey has been selected for its great beauty and diversity of terrain. Within the span of 100 miles, the riders will pass through stately farm lanes and former Quaker enclaves, showing the earliest signs of spring. We will pass through the edges of a real shit-hole of a city, cross the mighty Delaware, and ride through prime New Jersey tomato country. In a few brief miles, riders will encounter the desolate splendor of the New Jersey Pine Barrens and end up on the shores of Barnegat Bay — the gateway to the Atlantic.

(Above) Long-time friend Tony Luna (Vulcan Al), who I met for the first time on a PS (With A Shrug) Amish Horse Pile Swerve Ride, was the other 50% who showed up for the first Great Slider Ride. He too will have Grand Marshal Status if he shows up again. Tony has a BMW too, but he insisted on showing up on his Yamato Special, which began to shed body parts later in the day.

The poignant and touching ceremony is scheduled for 12:30pm, at the White Castle, located just west of the junction between Hooper Avenue and Route 37, in Toms River. The White Castle hamburger is a 2.5 inch square beef wafer, weighing approximately one ounce, perforated by 5 holes (to assist in cooking), on a grill smeared with crushed onions and Vaseline®. If ordered with cheese, it is served on a steamed bun (with a pickle chip and a smathering of ketchup) as soft as fresh quimm. White Castle cheeseburgers and hamburgers are highly addictive, and the average male drunkard can easily consume between five and eight.

(Above) The scene of the crime... The White Castle in Toms River, NJ.

It should be noted, however, that some White Castle aficionados claim that eating unspecified amounts of these may result in severe vomiting (when combined with alcohol) or a compelling case of the shits. (This last detail is important if you are riding a motorcycle through urban areas with a lack of natural cover.) I became addicted to the White Castle Hamburger at the age of six, when they were 5¢ each, as an alternative to eating out of dumpsters when my parents abandoned me. My father was a man of principle... And when a medical laboratory wouldn’t meet his price for me, I was turned loose to graze, with the admonition to write “if I found work.” I got a job in a bowling alley as a “waxer.” I’d be dipped in soft carnauba wax, then hurled the length of the alley for a strike. I was paid a nickel per alley. On a good Saturday, I made enough for five cheeseburgers and a half a pack of Lucky’s.

Ride Details:
The Rally Point -- Starbuck’s in Exton (Route 30 Business, 300 yards east of Route 100.)
Pre-Ride Coffee -- 9:30am
Kickstands Up -- 10am

Routing --
Route 30 East to Route 352
Right on 352 (all the way into Chester)
Right on major intersection following sign for interstate
Left on Conchord Ave. (At light by lumberyard).
Right immediately under overpass to Commodore Barry Bridge
Cross Bridge
Follow Route 322 NJ (East) to Mullica Hill
Route 77 NJ (South) to Route 40 NJ (East)
Route 40 NJ (East) to Route 54 NJ (north)
Route 54 turns into Route 206 (North)
Route 206 North to Route 70 East/North
Route 70 East/North to Route 37 East
Route 37 East to Hooper Ave.
Go past Hooper Ave. and make the dogleg turn (right) to co,me back on Rt. 37 West. The White Castle is on the immediate right.

I will need to stop and put me feet down for a bit after riding one hour. It is the price of the arthritis.

• Please show up with a full tank of gas.

After lunch, we may detour to Cameron’s of Kearny to buy Haggis (about three miles away) or we may head to the ocean at Seaside Heights for a picture in the sand.

• I am aware that this ride conflicts with the Herny’s event, but the date for this run was announced long before the Hermy’s announcement.

For those using a GPS, here is the address of the White Castle:
132 Route 37 East, Toms River, NJ 08753-6646

The return trip for me will be by the fastest route. That will be:
Route 37 to Route 70. (Traffic Circle)
Route 70 to Route 571 (left)
Route 571 to Route 537 (left -- Busy intersection)
Route 571 to I-195 (Right -- 1/2 mile)
I-195 to NJ Turnpike (about 10 fast miles)
NJ Turnpike to PA Turnpike (Exit 6)
Pa Turnpike to King of Prussia/Valley Forge Exit
Then Route 202 south to Boot Road

THIS RIDE IS WEATHER-PERMITTING ONLY. The weather for Saturday (at the moment) is partly sunny and 63º. It rain appears likely, check this blog or the Mac Pac list for an advisory no later than 7am.

Doug Braley is riding up from Virginia to make this run.

©Copyright Jack Riepe 2010
AKA The Lindbergh Baby (Mac Pac)
AKA Vindac8R (Motorcycle Views)
AKA The Chamberlain -- PS (With A Shrug)

39 comments:

Charlie6 said...

sounds like a fun time, wish I could attend....oh well, some day.

cpa3485 said...

If you google white castle hamburgers founder you can locate a link to wikipedia that will inform you that the chain was first started in my fair city in 1921.
Many strange and unusual things were founded here including Mentholatum.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_Castle_(restaurant)

Alas,there are none of those restaurants here due to some sort of later family agreement regarding non-competition.

I have never eaten one, but have heatd that they are both sublime and deadly at the same time.

Would be fun to join you and hope the weather holds out for a wonderful day.

Jack Riepe said...

Dear Charlie6 (Dom):

The last time I rode in this direction with a bunch of guys was for the Haiggis run, which was written uo in the BMW MOA's magazine. The temperature was about 25º. I told every one I didn't want to hear how cold they were, or how hot they were in their electrics. Dick Bregstein was wearing a smirk as he was garbed from head to toe in an electric space suit.

We had to chip him out of sa block of ice an hour later. He had forgotten to plug it in.

This run is going to be a total pisser, with temperatures in the 60s. We will start out in Amish country and end up on the New Jersey shore. In fact, we will be in the arms of the Painted Whore of the New Jersey shore. Too bad it isn't the season yet. Too bad you're not closer.

Fondest regards,
Jack • reep • Toad

Jack Riepe said...

Dear CPA3485:

This will be a ride that is both mystical and suicidal. It will be my first run of any consequence this year. I am so hoping that the local municipalities will start sweeping the streets of the sand and grit this week, but that seems unlikely. My biggest concern is piles of gravel and sand in the turns.

Then again, I am anxious to see the ocean on my bike as soon as possible. Too bad you're not close by. Your scooter would make a nice addition to the line of Beemers.

Thank you for reading my blog. I hope we all have a good riding season.

Fondest regards,
Jack • reep • Toad

Trail blazing, Ihor said...

Nice of you to post this heads up for everyone. If the turn out is large enough, hope someone brings a razor to allow slider sharing.
Why return via I-195? Matters not to me but Route 70 west to Route 73 takes you to Exit 4 of the NJTNPK most directly. But the road is not a freeway. I hope the day is a pip! see you there.

BMW-Dick said...

Riding with Don Eilenberger and Tony Luna -- Oh Boy, you can count on me. Sliders and haggis, the truffles and caviar of Motorcycledom. I can't wait. In anticipation of this ride I may start hanging out at the Dunkin' Donuts on Friday afternoon.
PS The roads should be dry by Wednesday. Let's plan a coffee run to Strasburg to get the moths out of the bikes and our jockey shorts.

bobskoot said...

Jack Riepe:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

it's a shame you decided to live so far away. I would love to try one of those White Castle Hamburgers. We don't have any here, and I've never seen one.

and Jack, get a Hack. Then you don't have to worry about sand in the corners, NOR having to balance, NOR not having enough storage

bob
bobskoot: wet coast scootin

bobskoot said...

Jack rIEPE:

I got your message and . . .

I love you too

bob
bobskoot: wet coast scootin

Jack Riepe said...

Dear Ihor:

The pain in my knees at the end of the day is generally my motvation to make the best time. Exit 4 on the NJTP brings me too far south toward Philly, and increases the traffic.

Getting on the NJTP at 7A lets me do 75+ mph through to Exit 6, which is only about 13 milres distant. Then it is another 27 miles to King of Prussia on the PATP, also at 75 miles per hour. The remaining 12 miles on Rt. 202 is at least 60 or 65 mph. I will be plenty tired at the end of the day. The shortest distance is not always the fastest way to go.

See you on Saturday...

Jack • reep • Toad

Jack Riepe said...

Dear Dick:

I think there will be at least five riders headed to New Jersey, and perhaps three there. But remember... We are not starting at the Duncon Donuts. We are leaving from Starbucks in Exton. I am planning to ride on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday.

Fondest regards,
Jack • reep • Toad

Jack Riepe said...

Dear Bob Skoot:

You would be amazed at what all the hubbub is about if you had ever had a White Castle hamburger. But, I'm sorry you don't live closer. This ride is going to be a pisser on Saturday. Fast moving Beemers, charging through the New Jersey Countryside, headed toward the ocean, with a brief pause on the doorstep of culinary purgatory.

You'd have had a good time.

Bob, here is my message: Anonymity is what gets assigned to those who do not count.

Fondest regards,
Jack • reep • Toad

/5 Dave said...

This sounds like a bad idea! Years ago I stopped at a White Castle in Indianapolis. Later that evening I suffered severe cramps and almost shit myself!I can only imagine what haiggis will add to this gastro-intestinal experience.So I guess I will have to attend.

Jack Riepe said...

Dear /5 Dave (Case, I presume):

See you at the Starbuck's in Exton , on Saturday.

Fondest regards,
Jack

Conchscooter said...

I'm going to go by the Tropic Cinema and buy a package of those nasty square things to celebrate your being rained off Up North. I heard BMWs melt in the rain?

Jack Riepe said...

Dear Conchskooter:

As always, you are a day behind the times and a century behind the politics. The weather is as sunny as Sister Margaret's outlook on life and the temperature is headed to 55º today. I was out looking at the tach on my bike... The one that came standard on my bike in 1995... The one that is still standard on all BMWs... And I was thinking, the Keys aren't really long enough to get up to full revs, are they?

Funny how things work out, isn't it?

Fondest regards etcetera.
Jack • reep • Toad

Douglas said...

Jack: I can barely make it through the week in anticipation of the famous White Castle burger ride. Let's not forget the sidetrip to one of your former hangouts for 1 adult beverage. Would this be in the bosom of the "painted whore" We are kickstands up at 6am Friday for the 400 mile run to Exton. I'll call you when we get in. BRALEY

Electra Glide In Blue said...

Jack,
Since when is a BMW ride listed as "WEATHER-PERMITTING ONLY" ?

BTW, Irish ya a Happy Birthday Jackie my boy.

Jack Riepe said...

Dear Braley:

This weekend run is going to be a pisser. My thought is that after the White Castle lunch, we would head over the bridge to Seaside Park, and get a drink at the end of town. Then I thought we'd get a picture on the beach.

On the way bck, we may stop at Cameron's of Kearny (In Howell Township) to grab some hiaggis. That's the deal.

Call me when you get into town...

Jack

Jack Riepe said...

Dear EGIB (Jeff):

We have four guys on Harley's attending and their chrome has never been wet. Out of consideration for their extreme age, this ride has been declarted weather permitting.

Actually, that's a fair question. There are guys riding north to this event from 400 miles away, and most others coming from at least 100 plus. Considering most of the event will be outdoors, no one feels like sitting on their asses out in the rain.

As it stands, the weather will be close to 70º that day at the Jersey Shore I will be wearing a fall/winter ballistic jacket, but will probably take the inserts out of it by noon.

There is one guy on a Harley coming. I actually like Harley's a lot... The two lifestyles — The Teutonic Approach to Precision Humping and Riding, and the alternative Harley lifestyle — do have some things in common.

Fondest regards,
Jack • reep • Toad
Twisted Roads

gary5410 said...

My Adventure is down! Front universal on my driveshaft failed........
......no can do!

Gary Christman

Jack Riepe said...

Dear Gary:

Please don't work youself up over this. Short-distance motorcycle riding isn't for everyone. This segment of the sport has a unique set of challenges that many men, such as yourself, find daunting. I feel better knowing you passed on this ride, and did so without getting hurt, or lost, or pulling over and crying by the side of the road (which happened on that ride to Yar Seever's place).

You should emerse yourself into short-distance motorcycling carefully. For example, you could have ridden to the White Castle in Toms River by way of Chicago. That would have been an excellent start. Maybe next year.

It was probably riding on the pavement, in the sun, at a reasonable speed, after a good night's sleep, that busted the joint. Your bike would simply dissolve on one of my average runs.

Joe Sestrich is coming with his arm in a cast. Chris Jaccarino is coming with the use of one arm. My riding might look good against this crew.

Fondest regards,
Jack • reep • Toad

Singing to Jeffrey's Tune said...

I ate 50 of these little critters when I was 18 after seeing Two Hand Luke. Didn't bode well for my upper (or later, the lower) GI tract.

May you have many in your party that you can distribute among. Perhaps a methane converter is needed for the ride home.

Happy Early Birthday

Jack Riepe said...

Dear Jeffrey:

I thought the movie was "Cool Hand Luke." I can generally eat 6 to 8 of these little burgers, plus fries and onion rings. My daughter is going to accompany me to this event to make sure I don't put any of this shit in my mouth. Fat chance. Shell need a chair and a whip.

I am planning on taking the bike out today, as temperatures will be above 60º

Fondest regards,
Jack • reep • Toad

Singing to Jeffrey's Tune said...

You are correct, it is Cool Hand Luke Nearest White Castle to me is in the freezer section of the Publix - not the same.

bobskoot said...

Mr Jackie:

I hope Leslie tags along to grab some photos of these miniature Burgers so we can all see what the BUZZ is all about

bob
bobskoot: wet coast scootin

Jack Riepe said...

Dear Jeffrey:

Cool Hand Luke is one of my role model pictures.

Fondest regards,
Jack • reep • Toad

Jack Riepe said...

Dear Bobskoot:

Leslie does not usually participate in motorcycle events, and this one will be no exception. She is getting ready for a big art symposium to be held shortly after the weekend and is up to her eyeballs in preparation.

You'll have to deal with my pictures, I'm afraid.

Fondest regards,
Jack • reep • Toad

classicvelocity said...

Dear Jack,

The White Castle in Brooklyn was a frequent stop after a hard night partying back circa 1492. I would caution those making the trip to avoid alcohol for 24 hours before and after consumption. Something in them attracts alcohol which makes you crave them if you have indulged. Once they have soaked up all of your alcohol, they rapidly exit your body through any available orifice in search of the next victim. YMMV

Wayne (classicvelocity)

Jack Riepe said...

Dear Wayne:

I often thought the slider should be served in airline barf bags. But still, there are somewhat addictive even if you are sober.

Fondest regards,
Jack • reep • Toad

Sojourner rides said...

I would be lying if I said I wish I could join you at white castle. I haven't had a white castle in probably 4 decades! Even if I ate meat, I think eating one would kill me.

Still, I wish you well and hope the celebration at white castle was a great one. Most of all, I wish you a wonderful b-day bash and hope that a big crowd joined you at the castle. Cheers!

bobskoot said...

Jackie:

I would be honoured to devour Sharon's share of White Castle Hamburgers. Would be a shame to waste them . . .

thank you

bob
bobskoot: wet coast scootin

PS: today is Monday, waiting patiently for your 224 mile report.

bobskoot said...

Jackie "r::

You should be a detective with superman eyes, or a modern day Sherlock Holmes. Originally it was thought that the feed pipe from the shut off valve was soldered to the faucet, so the plan was to get a new faucet set. The break was "after" the shutoff valve, but for some reason it was still leaking so I had to turn off the hot water feed.
Later when WE (not me but Gord, I used the Royal we) took it apart we saw that it was attached by compression fitting.
Anyway, it was a mess of add-ons over the years and shoddy repair work, so Gord being so organized and a good worker, decided to change out the whole mess from the feed from the floor up and just replaced everything, which included 4 ball valves so I will have shut offs for both the sink and washing machine, separately and attached with flexible, metal shielded hoses. The new faucets do not use washers and have levers rather than the round knobs. The original U-tube was leaking so I put putty on the threads over 10 years ago so we could not remove the fitting which meant having to buy another one.
The first day of Spring was costly for me. $180. to service the V-strom, + $160. for plumbing parts, treated Gord for dinner $80. plus my $65. and will probaby have to spring for another meal on the weekend for his labour. He is coming back to hook up the sink tomorrow after we repair the water damage to the floor. We are waiting for the wood to dry out before we glue on new tiles. The walls have already been painted with 2 coats of paint.

I also noticed that the grass will need cutting. Hope the lawnmower starts . . . or that will be more $$ out the door.

bob
bobskoot: wet coast scootin

bobskoot said...

Jackie:

BMW FINAL DRIVE FD failures:

http://www.bmwfinaldrive.com/fd_failure_list.php

Lots of stuff on the net

bobskoot: wet coast scootin

dave said...

As it is now the 25th and there have been no further postings, I am worried that Jack and crew have succumbed to the deadly after effects of to many sliders. Living 100 miles from a White Castle makes it hard to build up a tolerance...

Would have loved to have been there but the responsibilities of life (job and family) prevented it.

Richard Machida said...

Day 5 and no ride report. Maybe he's still at White Castle trying to finish the 56 sliders...

Jack Riepe said...

Dear Bobskoot:

The growing incidence of BMW final drive failures has been tabulated to represent less than 2% of the total number of those model runs most likely to have the defect. While BMW has not acknowledged a problem exists, they have extended final drive warranties to five years, and have repaired any reported failures within that period without question.

Experts on the subject tell me that the set up of the final drive is absolutely critical, with unbelievably tight tolerances and no margin for error. The strength of a BMW final drive can only be appreciated when one understands that some of the most powerful engines in the business are pushing some of the most innovative motorcycles in biking history, at increasingly higher speeds, at horsepower levels never before derived from unworked two-cylinder engines, or K-bike motors (routinely developing 162 to 200 hp) — channeled through rear-ends tha are lighter than ever before, but which control these forces on the strength of two bearings, and two gears.

If you recall, the BMW rear tire is a mono-shock arrangement, mounting only on one side. The real miracle is that more of these machines do not fail over the incredible distances they are driven over really high speeds.

There is a question if these 2% failures are the result of a metalurgic problem, or human error in the assembly stages. BMW riders, who routinely spend between $14,000 and $22,000 for these machines are rightly concerned. But there is no evidence that they are switching brands over the issue in any kind of significant numbers.

And any number is significant to BMW, who holds about 2% of the US market. It should be noted that of all motorcycle marques reporting losses in 2009, BMW's were the least significant at 14%. While many Japanese marques declined to import models for 2010, BMW continued to do so — and even introduced two models with more power and more innovative design features.

But for a staggering number of BMW riders, its not about the power nor the innovative prowess. It is a lifestyle that defines a riding style that encompasses distance and speed, encapsulated in a measure of solidarity exceeded only by Harley Davidson.

I am on three private lists that go into great detail on the shortcomings of various BMW models, parts, or various designs. These guys are on these lists not to complain, but to exchange the information to effect the repair through a unique report. They would no sooner give up riding a BMW than they would sell a kidney.

With a Beemer, you either get it, or you don't. They are not for everyone. If you go to the Beemer Rally out west this summer, I suggest you sit in on a technical seminar and feel the supercharged atmosphere in the room around you. Or go to your local BMW dealer and take a test ride. (The real danger in this is findng out you might be one of the folks that "gets it." In which case, the haunting, longing will begin at once.)

By the way, Triumph sales were up in 2009 over the previous year.

Fondest regards,
Jack • reep • Toad
Twisted Roads

Jack Riepe said...

Dear Dave:

I am recovering from a case of literary indecision. This occurs when I can't decie if I want t use any of the crap I have previously written.

Fondest regards,
Jack • reep • Toad
Twisted Roads

Jack Riepe said...

Dear Rich:

See my comment to Dave (above).

Fondest regards,
Jack • reep • Toad
Twisted Roads

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