Friday, March 7, 2008

The Great Slider Ride

On March 15, 2008, I will celebrate my 54th Birthday by riding to the White Castle, on Rt. 37 (West), in Tom's River, NJ. I will mark the occasion by ordering 54 cheeseburgers -- the original sliders. I will start this ride at 9:30am, from the parking lot of the Exton Diner, on Rt. 100 and Ship Road, Exton, Pa. The run is about 100 miles in one direction. There are damn few aesthetics on a ride of this nature. It's slab and strip malls most of the way. After the ritual feast, I will continue east to Seaside Park, to look at the ocean, photograph my bike against the bay, and have a couple of snorts at a Seaside establishment.
My Favorite Picture: Jack Riepe on the late "Blue Balls"
1986 BMW K75 With A Sprint Fairing
Hit and totaled by a mini-van on June 9, 2007

This is a pilgrimage of love... Love of the slider. I expect to eat at least 5 of these cheeseburgers myself, distributing the rest to interested parties and innocent bystanders. Soft drinks, french fries, and onion rings will be the responsibility of anyone else present.

The ride home will be fast as anyone eating these will have to take a dump pretty quickly. I plan to get to the White Castle at noon, taking the Pa Turnpike to the NJ Turnpike, and I-195, to Rt. 571 across the pine barrens to Rt. 70, and then Rt. 37.

THIS TRIP IS WEATHER PERMITTING... Anything generating spray on the road will bag this trip.

Jack Riepe
AKA The Lindberg Baby (Mac-Pac)
AKA Vindak8r (Delphi)
AKA The Chamberlain -- Perdition's Socks, PS (With A Shrug)

©Copyright Jack Riepe 2008


Sojourner's Moto Tales said...

Jack, I haven't had a slider since I was a teenager--and we're in the same ballpark with regards to age! Enjoy your upcoming b-day. Hope the weather cooperates.

Jack Riepe said...


I'm going to have to do something dramatic this year. Here I am posting a brief about a ride to New Jersey (100 miles out) to get White Castle cheeseburgers, while my friend Doug has announced he's starting a 9-day ride through the mountains of Argentina on Sunday.

Last summer, Doug rode to Prudhoe Bay on the Arctic Circle in Alaska from Philly, and back in 14 days. I'm going to have to beef up my adventure levels, cheeseburgers or not. Fortunately, I have a plan.

Fondest regards.

Anonymous said...

I've seen you eat burgers before and this was the first thing that came to mind. The originallly published chapter in this well regarded and otherwise quite serious medical tome reads as follws:

Merck Manual (originally published in its 14th Edition):

'Flatulence, which can cause great psychosocial distress, is unofficially described according to its salient characteristics:
(1) the "slider" (crowded elevator type) , which is released slowly and noiselessly, sometimes with devastating effect;

(2) the open sphincter, or "pooh" type, which is said to be of higher temperature and more aromatic;

(3) the staccato or drumbeat type, pleasantly passed in privacy; and

(4) the "bark" type (described in a personal communication) is characterized by a sharp exclamatory eruption that effectively interrupts (and often concludes) conversation. Aromaticity is not a prominent feature. Rarely, this usually distressing symptom has been turned to advantage, as with a Frenchman referred to as "Le Petomane," who became affluent as an effluent performer who played tunes with the gas from his rectum on the Moulin Rouge.'

Breathtakingly accurate!