Thursday, January 20, 2011

Attention Dedicated Twisted Roads Readers

The new blog piece scheduled for publication here at 12pm today has been delayed owing to a catastrophe of near alcoholic proportions.

Despite every data safeguard provide by the Apple MacBook Pro system (including the marvelous "Time Machine"), the head editorial asshole at "Twisted Roads" managed to utterly erase the original folder, containing 2,200 original words written expressly for this blog today. Attempting to talk on the phone, shuffle through pictures, and participate in an "on-line" dialogue (with hot singles who are dying to meet only me) provided the perfect environment for this dope to click on the little red dots in the upper left-hand corner of overlaying documents, while simultaneously clicking "yes" to every question posed by the computer... Including "Do you want to piss away the last four hours worth of work?"

Please be advised that "Time Machine" does a major backup on this computer every 15 minutes... But it requires the chimp at the keyboard to save the document at least once. If your next two questions are, "So you worked on a story for four hours and didn't save the fucking document once? Are you fucking stupid?"

The answer is "yes" and "yes."

The new blog will be posted by 6pm. I regret the inconvenience for our readers in Europe. Yet for our readers in Asia, it's already two days later, so what the hell is the difference?

Fondest regards,
Jack • reep • Toad


Canajun said...

Jack, you're forgiven. I did exactly the same thing this morning - but for work, and it was only an hour's worth, not four. And it was on a PC.

So I guess it's not really the same, but close enough.

What would really be great is if we both look back at those and say, "I'll never do that again." But then we'd be lying.

Anonymous said...

I know exactly how your feel. In grad-school I once deleted an entire term paper the night before it was due. I had to reconstruct the entire 20 pages from from the outline I had saved and memory. This was in the days of 150 kilo-bite floppies. The moral is: DON'T DRINK BOURBON WHILE WRITING! (Switch to single malt.)


Unknown said...

Mr Jack:

excuses . . . excuses . . .

I want my money back

Wet Coast Scootin

Unknown said...

Jack, 2200 words is a bit long for a blog post, so that's okay. One principle of good product development is when you finish the product the first time, immediately delete everything and start from scratch. The second product will not only be better, but it will be more bug free than if you had kept the first version and spent the time fixing bugs. Of course, you don't fix the bugs in your work anyway, but you get the idea.
I won't hold you to the 6PM deadline, either.

Allen Madding said...

Before attempting reconstruction, go to your favorite market of refined spirits and ask for a bottle of Colorado Whiskey. It will not cure all that ails but it might give you inspiration to write an evaluation.


Anonymous said...

Dear Sir,

You are a dumb fuck.


Bill Gates

Jack Riepe said...

Dear Canajun:

Thank you for your sympathetic note. I did not fare so well with some of the guys in my own riding club. Do you know I started over again, only to be an hour into it without hitting the "save" button again?

How dumb is dumb?

Fondest regards,
Jack • reep • Toad

Jack Riepe said...

Dear Snickshift:

I had written eight short-stories for publication, without a single copy... And I left them on subway train, never to see them again. It happens. That was back in the '70s.

And today, even with every safeguard, I tossed out a piece just by randomly hitting keys. It can still happen.

Thanks for reading and for writing in.

Fondest regards,
Jack • reep • Toad

Jack Riepe said...

Dear Bobskoot:

Eleven cents (US), about $30 Canadian, has been mailed to a charity in your honor. The "Order of the Iguana" in Key West will be the recipient of your refund.

Thanks for standing by with breathless anticipation for my new blog.

Fondest regards,
Jack • reep • Toad

Jack Riepe said...

Dear Rogers:'

2200 hundred words is a bit long for a blog post dealing with guano, new chicks, and directions on how to build a campfire in reverse. The size is perfect for a story about chasing skirts, cigars, getting one's horn honked, or motorcycles.

There are 59 days left until spring. Where are we riding in April?

Fonderst regards,
Jack • reep • Toad

Jack Riepe said...

Dear Allen:

I just fired up the crack pipe. It was handier.

Fondest regards,
Jack • reep • Toad

Jack Riepe said...

Dear Woody/Bill Gates:

Fuck you.

Strong letter to follow.

Fondest regards,
Jack • reep • Toad

Nikos said...

The same thing has just happened to my epic work "The Secret Life of a Wheeliebin".

I'm truly gutted.

Life can be a bitch at times, N

Jack Riepe said...

Dear Nikos:

I have finally discovered what a Wheelie Bin is. Do you know we have two in the garage? You won't believe what we use them for.

I was hoping to get an advance copy of a "Secret Life of a Wheelie Bin," but I suppose the long wait will continue.

Fondest regards,
Jack • reep • Toad

Steve Williams said...

I had a long, insightful critique but I should have saved it before the power blinked out.


Steve Williams
Scooter in the Sticks

MattPie said...

One day, Jesus and Pontious Pilate are hanging out in the computer lab. They're both working on some documents for a project due the next day. Suddenly, the power goes out in the entire building, taking all the computers with it. Ponty is pissed, storming about the room. Jesus is sitting serenely at his terminal.

Ponty screams, "What the F' is wrong with you, all the documents are wiped out."

Jesus, with a smirk, replies, "Jesus Saves!".

Chris said...

I did that a few weeks ago. Autosave doesn't work if you didn't save it once... lost 90 mins of work. I was a bit frustrated to say the least. Four hours... ugh.